I wasn’t originally going to write about my journey of self-discovery. I wanted to have a lifestyle blog that focused on fashion and then eventually branch out into my other passions: interior design, photography, makeup, DIY projects and crafting, music, wine tasting, and adventuring. I purchased a fashion blog class on Udemy. I researched what blog topics were trending and how I could figure out what my niche would be. Finally, I procured my domain name and started building my website. Fear and the Imposter Syndrome settled in fast. What right did I have to write a fashion blog? I had no experience. The blogs I checked out had beautiful pictures, their own unique voices, and established themselves in the fashion industry. I didn’t have any of that. Could I really see myself writing on these topics long-term or even at all? The more dead-end fashion blog niches I arrived at, the more demoralized I felt. What I was so passionate about soon turned into a chore. What I loved so much soon turned into something I loathed. I gave myself every excuse to avoid picking it back up again.
I was ready to let my dream die.
A few weeks later, my friend had bought a soy candle making set for us to work on. She thought it would be something fun to add to my lifestyle blog. Oh yeah, my lifestyle blog! I desperately wanted to have one of my own: my passion was instantly reignited. I thought about how I could incorporate candles into my blog and what that would translate to as my center focus. I went back to the drawing board, and my once cloudy dream became clear.
I was in our backyard watering the lawn and raking up the leaves a few days later. I thought about my lifestyle blog some more, and I was finally ready to commit to writing about my journey of self discovery. The moment I committed I found a leaf in the shape of a heart. Instantaneously, a wonderful sign from the Universe! Right after that, I received an email from Gabby Bernstein’s email list. In the body it said: You have a transformational story. And that story has the power to heal and inspire others. I couldn’t believe the synchronicity in not only receiving both of these signs from the Universe but receiving them back to back. In a matter of moments, my whole blog fell perfectly into place, and my first post would be about my rebirth. I instinctively knew that I was on the right track, finally!
I’ve been receiving more signs from the Universe lately, but it took a long time for me to pay attention and listen.
I’ve been getting more impatient and more anxious about what’s next for me career-wise. I’m worried about having trouble supporting my family. I’m also frightened that I won’t ever be gainfully employed again. I do trust that the Universe is taking care of me, and I’ve been trying to hold onto my abundance mindset tightly. But my fear keeps creeping back in.
The past few weeks, I’ve run into so many spiders in our home. Last week and this week, I’ve dealt with a handful of minor ant invasions in our kitchen. This week, I’ve witnessed two praying mantis sightings in our backyard.
On Tuesday, a spider decided to appear out of nowhere in the bathroom right after I got out of the shower. I immediately got into squishing stance, and my intuition gently kicked in and said no, so I backed off immediately and let it crawl away. I wondered why my intuition told me that. Was there symbolism in each of these reoccurrences? I did my research, and the common thread was this: be patient; trust in the timing.
Okay, Universe, I hear you, and I am now listening. I know you are taking care of me, my family, and my career, and those career opportunities will appear when it’s the right time. Thank you for your constant love, support, and guidance.